Independence Day and Rootedness

Today we have joined in the local celebrations for Independence Day.  Happy 4th of July!

It was kind of funny that a Texan (C), a Canadian (J) and a Kiwi (Me) had to scramble around to find anything red, white, and/or blue to wear!  There does seem to be a secret compartment in the closets/wardrobes of Americans that contain outfits for days such as this.  We managed to score a couple of miniature flags to wave from a friendly parade organizer and joined some of N's classmates to watch the fun in the suburb of Lakewood.  I think my favourite float was the kids playing (original, I think) rock songs on  a big trailer - those tweens were talented!  J enjoyed collecting candy (which I kept referring to as lollies) and C munched on his hat and flag (which cleared the way for the appearance of tooth #3 today).  Some of the costumes were elaborate, the political buttons were big (election year here) and the classic cars were cool (or should that be hot?)

Afterwards we had a barbecue lunch with our friends, complete with octopus sprinkler in the back yard.  C took a nap at last, J had a blast in the sprinkler (but wasn't so keen on the sand down his pants from the sandpit) and I had fun talking with everyone.

The holiday today celebrates 236 years of independence from British rule.  Canada celebrated the birthday of their nation 145 years ago on Sunday (belated Happy Canada Day!) and New Zealand commemorated 172 years since the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi (between the indigenous Maori and the British Crown) on February 6th.  In reflecting on these community markers of national identity I have been struck by how much we define ourselves by (or against) our history - our roots as nations, communities, families and individuals.  It is from our understanding of the past, the values and virtues that were cultivated there and passed on, the stories that we retell and those we choose not to, that we define our present selves and move forward into the future.  For those of us with faith, that identity is even more rich as we layer in the stories that have shaped our beliefs (and, hopefully, actions) too.

I have also been reflecting on these past weeks 'flying solo' most of the time in my role as parent while N has been away.  (I am looking forward to redistributing the wife/mother balance again soon!)  In reading a blog this week I was reminded that our role as parents is really to raise kids to be independent, and to let them leave.  In teaching our boys to be independent, however, I believe we need to teach them how to 'be' with us - within the community of our family, neighbourhood(s), nations, world - in order that they might have healthy roots through which to draw strength and sustenance as their independent identies emerge and they leave the nest.

I left home when I married N at the ripe old age of 20.  Now I realise how potentially scary this was for my parents!  One of my favourite wedding presents was actually orchestrated by my mum in the weeks leading up to the wedding.  Knowing we were setting up a brand new household, she gave me a box of goodies each week with a different theme.  All those little things you need but don't realise you don't have them until you want them to hand immediately.  I can't remember them all but some highlights include gift wrap and ribbons; a bucket of cleaning supplies; a box of stationery and office supplies; lightbulbs, super glue and other fixity stuff; and so on.  It was like getting an elaborate Christmas stocking of independence every week!  Essentially these gifts represented my parents' work teaching me not only to fly the nest but enabling me to soar (as an individual, and together with N in our marriage).

When I dream of what my boys may be like by the time they leave home I hope each of them can draw their identity from who they are in Christ, our family, communities and nations. (We've sure created some interesting scenarios by providing them with multiple passports!)  I pray that they will be both independent and rooted.  I hope they will share the wealth of their heritage, in all its glory and shortcomings, with those they know and love.  And I hope I can let them soar too.